Bothsxdes is conflicted about London, social media and being vulnerable

Pink Ipod: So we're with bothsxdes. This is your first interview, I think. How do you feel?

BSX: Of all time. I feel honored. Thank you for having me. I feel very happy.

PI: What is the first song you ever wrote?

BSX: Oh, wow. It was about an astronaut. I think I was nine. I had like a little notebook where I used to draw and write stories. And at one point, I decided to write a song about one of the stories. He was just in space, hovering. He wasn't able to go home. He was just wondering what else was to see in space. And that was the whole song. It was kind of boring, I'm not gonna lie.

PI: And when did you start making music more seriously?

BSX: More seriously, it was around 2019. I found a tutorial on YouTube on how to make trap beats on FL Studio. And I just got lost in it. It's like, I have to make more trap beats, more trap beats. And then eventually, it just spiraled into guitar and everything.

PI: Oh so you didn’t start singing. When did you discover you could sing?

BSX: Very recently, actually. I think maybe two years ago. I still... I don't think I can sing yet. But I got a little more confidence in my voice when I started singing with my mom. And she was like, oh, that's pretty nice. She'd do something with that. And then I ended up doing something with it.

PI: Does your mom make music or she sings or she plays an instrument?

BSX: She never made music, but she was a radio host in Ivory Coast, actually. So she was always used to talking and taking care of her voice and all of that stuff. She's always loved music. So from the get-go, it was just music every day, all the time at home and stuff like that.

PI: And what was at home playing? Which tracks, which artists?

BSX: A lot of French variety, actually. Like Céline Dion. I mean, she's Canadian, but Céline Dion. Johnny Hallyday. Who else did she put on? A little bit of rock, but very little. And then a lot of African songs as well. So I just had a lot of different stuff.

PI: But so mostly like French variety pop?

BSX: Yeah.

PI: I feel like you have a bit more of an alt/edgier vibe though. Where does that come from?

BSX: I think, weirdly, it doesn't come from rock itself, but it comes from me listening to a lot of rap growing up and then electronic music. And then COVID hit and I got hit by Hyperpop. And that really changed everything in my brain. I was like, “I can do anything I want in music“. That's insane. And then it just went crazy from there.

PI: And which track specifically in Hyperpop kind of opened your mind about that world?

BSX: It was brakence. I think it was either caffeine or the bonus track on his first album, sauceintherough. Insane. It was so crazy.

PI: Actually that's a good transition because I feel like energy is kind of the thing that drives your EP. Your inspirations, whether it's rap or hyperpop, it's a lot of energy. What made you decide to open with the first track “nottheone”, which is kind of in medias res, like bam, it opens, you know?

BSX: Well, at first I knew that I wanted the project to have a change in dynamics. So either it was going to start really slow and then end really energetic or the opposite. I didn't make the tracks in order, the first track I made from that album was Addict, so the second one. And then I realized that I need something that is even more energetic, like something that goes actually crazier. And that's when I made the first track and I decided, okay, this has to be the first one. And then from there, everything kind of went through and I had to calm it down the more we went, hence the order.

PI: Did you have a concept for the EP apart from the general energy and vibe that you wanted to put in it?

BSX: I wanted something that goes along the way of someone that is being extremely... secretive with how they really feel. Because they put up this front of being like "I'm so incredible" and "look at me, you know I'm not the one, leave me alone", because of how deeply hurt they are, and how unsure of who they are. It creates this feeling that you have to fake everything in order to be proud of yourself. And so that's why the beginning is really like that. And then as we go, it's a lot more emotional. I mean, saysorry literally is "I'm sorry, I never learned to say sorry", stuff like that. It goes from something that's kind of surface level into something that's really... I don't know. It's really deep. It's really personal. I never talk about saysorry because it's genuinely how I feel and what I've experienced. So I cannot talk about that song because then it feels too personal.

PI: You can.

BSX: I can try. But I never just talk about it like that. But yeah, I guess that was the concept. It was someone that is really, really, really unsure of who they are. And so they put up this front and slowly they start unraveling themselves.

PI: On that, when you're writing, do you feel like you're talking from your own point of view or as a persona?

BSX: It really depends. I guess most times I'm really writing about myself, but convincing myself that it's not me. Some of it is not, but some is definitely about me. It's just a part of myself that I kind of forgot or that I put away. But yeah, I think most times whenever I write is because I feel something or I have something to say that I don't know how to express. Before, I used to make a lot of edits, like random edits about anime and movies and stuff. And I used to put weird phrases in them. And that was my way of expressing this. And now it's music. So I feel like every time I have something that I feel that's really big, that's where it goes.

PI: Obviously the story is about someone who can't be vulnerable, but actually I feel like with your online presence, the relationship that you have with your community is pretty vulnerable and honest. Do you feel like making the EP has helped you in the process of removing that "front"?

BSX: I think so, yeah, a lot. When I started with this bothsxdes project, I didn't show my face. I was supposed to be very mysterious and very into myself. And I think by writing this project, it kind of helped me be able to affirm myself and who I am. This is how I feel. And I want to show it to people, so I will. And if I don't, I won't. But there's a lot more of myself that is showing online after the project rather than before.

PI: And your name, bothsxdes, is it related to the both sides that we can have, like this front and the back end?

BSX: Yeah, kind of. I have to be very very honest, at first I was trying to find the name that sounded really cool to say, so I thought both sides sounded really cool, then I added the X. So dope. But thinking about it, I feel like a lot of my music is that way, where it's something that talks about a subject that is very personal, but then you have an instrumental that is very energetic. If you don't really pay attention, you don't really get the other side. You only get one of them. So you have to actually sit down and get both of the sides. So that's where it comes from.

PI: When you sent me your album, you told me, like, make sure to listen to it in order. It was really good advice. And it's true that I feel like if you don't do that, you do miss the storytelling, obviously, as well as the shift into that more melancholic part. What was the hardest track for you to make or even finish?

BSX: Well, I have two. The first one is lacedwithlove because I go really high when I sing. It was really hard, because, as you can hear, I have a very low voice. But I did not want to sing it low. I kept saying, I have to go high. I have to do it. It took me five recording days of just trying again and again. That was really hard. But in terms of emotional labor, I guess, it was definitely the last one, because I just didn't want to put it out. I didn't want that to be out there. I felt really vulnerable writing that. Especially since, again, it's definitely about me and about stuff that I've experienced. I know that the people that know me, that are in my past, if they heard it, they would know exactly what I'm talking about. That's kind of scary. So I didn't want to finish it.

PI: And what made you put it out anyway?

BSX: Well, I guess the project itself told me that. You have to be vulnerable. So you have to feel what you feel and you have to get it out. I had to put it out because it would be very unfair to share that message and then not do it myself.

PI: And about lacedwithlove, it's like a scream, right? What parallel do you put between love and addiction?

BSX: Well, Addict and then lacedwithlove, they're right next to each other. The idea of love being an addiction has always been with me. Because I have been in love and I have felt how it is to not be able to go a day without the person. And being out of it now, I just feel like... I felt like an addict. Like, genuinely, I felt addicted. And I feel like... Being laced with love to me is being so in love with someone, you don't realize how much you're hurting them. Because in your mind, everything you do is based on love. And so everything is love. It's okay. It's all love, even though it hurts. So yeah, that's that relationship to me.

PI: And being French, was English a way for you to say these very vulnerable things, but kind of getting away with it because it's not in French?

BSX: Yeah, exactly. Actually, super funny, but I talked about that with my therapist. And she told me explicitly, “You are singing in English because you don't want to show yourself. So as long as you sing in English, it's not going to be real”. She's kind of right. It's never going to be fully who I am. I have written songs in French now. They exist and I cannot listen to them. I hate them. I can't listen to them. But yeah, it does, it feels really different. Really, really different.

PI: Why do you hate your songs in French?

BSX: Because it sounds like me. I don't like it. It sounds too much like me. I can't.

PI: Okay. Well, your therapist hit the nail on the head. And I was wondering why do you keep going between Paris and the UK?

BSX: Well, okay. Controversial opinion, hot take. I feel like the creative scene in Paris is not as open as it used to be. And so a lot of the music that I make today is not well received. People don't really care about it. Specifically because I'm an outsider. I sing in English. I'm making a genre that is slowly coming back, but it wasn't there like a year ago, for example. And so... I just found an audience in London that I couldn't find here. And now I realize that I have to cater to both, mostly the UK right now. And then I've also heard that for French media and stuff like that, they usually want you to prove yourself away overseas and then you come back and you're able to get in touch with people.

PI: So it was actually kind of like out of a lack of a welcoming space in Paris that you kind of exported yourself. And when you said that you were comparing the scene in Paris to what it used to be, was it that when you started out in 2019, it felt like a more open space to you?

BSX: Yeah. But also I understand that I was in a very different genre/group niche, because again I was making trap beats, it's very different. Every upcoming trap producer is just gonna help each other, like "come on, everyone's working, let's all make beats" and stuff like that. It's different when you're an actual artist and you're trying to actually make songs.

PI: In London, it also looks like you found a creative community. You're performing with Dréa Szn. How has finding that community, if you have found it, helped you with your craft? Did you get any feedback on your album? Did you have any collaborators, people that could kind of help you through the process? Because I know that you've mastered it, you've produced it, it was kind of all by yourself. But what about just creative input?

BSX: That's the tricky thing, is that... I always want input, but I also realized that by getting input, you take the risk of changing what you really want to make because of people's judgment. And so for that specific project, I didn't take anything. Like I sent it to my manager once to tell him "this is what I'm making, listen to it, and then tell me if everything is okay, and then I'm finishing it", and that was it. I'm definitely gonna involve people more, because again this was me just showing myself, like this is entirely me so I didn't want to bring too many people in. I ended up bringing no one, but that's my fault I guess.

PI: Do you have a manager?

BSX: I do. I do, George.

PI: How did, like, how did that relationship come about?

BSX: So, last year... I was making music and posting it on TikTok. I was making hyperpop. And a lot of my community has found that profile. But I told them to keep it a secret. So it's kind of an inside joke now. But I was posting on TikTok and my manager found me through that. And he asked me, what are you doing? What are your goals? Do you have any beats? Anything that you want to do? Blah, blah, blah. And I ended up sending him a folder of just ideas, a bunch of beats. And it was only different genres, one song, one genre. And then one of them was "You Did Well". He heard it and he said, "This is insane. Please make more of that." And then we started talking and I told him, I really liked that because I was really into rock in the beginning. I think my favorite artist in the entire world right now is Dominic Fike. And then after that, Weezer. So he was like, "Great, that's what I want to push right now. If you want to make that, I can help you. I can manage you." And then that's when it started.

PI: And you have your first headline show coming up. And it's so exciting.

BSX: Yeah.

PI: Can you tell me more about the venue, the opportunity, how does it come about? Like what you envision for the show. I know there's a dress code. I find it so fun. Like I feel like you're already creating a whole vibe around your live music. Do you enjoy performing live and are you excited?

BSX: I'm very excited. It's actually my second show ever. So the first one was in January. It was incredible.

PI: Where?

BSX: It was at The Waiting Room in London again. Incredible venue. The room was packed, which I did not expect. It was so fun. And this time, yeah, I'm performing with Dréa Szn, which I love. She's so good. She's so talented. And yeah, dress code. I just like having everything tight, you know, feeling like it's an actual event and it's not just a random thing. That's also why I'm making a small rollout with the fake magazines and all that stuff.

PI: That kind of exigency for concepts for your songs, do you feel like it ever also maybe blocked you or kind of made you more hesitant to create a song where maybe you weren't sure of where it was leading? Or does the concept come after and actually you feel comfortable with that?

BSX: It always comes after, always, because I still believe that the music is the most important, I wouldn't think about making something that sells. It's always the music first and then the concepts come later. I do have to say that I am very hard on myself about that.

PI: How about your relationship to social media ? You said that your hit was kind of on TikTok. I feel like you're very active on Instagram. It's a platform that you foster. Do you have any conflicting feelings on social media?

BSX: I hate it.

PI: You hate it?

BSX: I hate it so much. So much.

PI: That's funny because you're great at it.

BSX: I don't think I'm... But thank you. Thank you very much. But I think it's mostly that it's kind of a necessary evil. I mean, we're in 2026. You can't avoid it. If you want to avoid it, it's going to be really, really hard to move into anything. So it's kind of a resolve that I have to do it. So I might as well try and get good at it. But I do not like it. I hate it.

PI: To talk about your non-musical inspirations, you mentioned anime. I feel like it's a lot about storytelling, all these things. Do you have pieces of work, whether it's video games, any artworks that you would like to kind of shout out, like, connect to your work?

BSX: Connect to my work? Well, okay, Kingdom Hearts for sure. Weirdly enough... Naruto (the anime) did something to me. I don't know what yet. A lot of anime in general motivates my visuals in a lot of ways. For a very long time I was really into impact frames and so I used to draw them, which I think is really cool. So many things. Genuinely. I love books. All of the Harry Potter franchise. Hate the author. Love the books.

PI: What do you feel like has been your biggest obstacle in the music industry so far? We've mentioned a bit like the Parisian scene already.

BSX: The fact that I have a job, that's my biggest obstacle. I would do so much more if I had more time, but I don't. I do try to not look at things that are blocking me or slowing me down, I just push through.

PI: And what's your job?

BSX: I am an IT services manager at a tech company.

PI: Very different. Although the production happens on a computer I guess.

BSX: Yeah, exactly. I mean, I'm a big nerd. I just love computers.

PI: Okay. That makes a lot of sense, actually. That's why you learned music through tutorials.

BSX: Exactly.

PI: What do you think is your dream venue to play at?

BSX: My dream venue? Actually, weird, but I want to play at my old high school.

PI: Oh, that's great.

BSX: I really do. I really, really do.

PI: Why?

BSX: That's kind of like the first place where I thought about making music, because I had a friend, well we're not friends anymore, but a guy that was really into making music and he showed me a bunch of stuff. He taught me to play the guitar actually, and that's where I realized I could play. Also in that school, there's this huge gymnasium and everything, it's perfect. So I could play there and I feel like playing there would be an insane full circle moment.

PI: Where did you go to high school?

BSX: Really close, actually, right there.

PI: Oh, really?

BSX: Yeah.

PI: We're in the 11th district of Paris right now. Well, that's a great venue. You also have a cemetery nearby.

BSX: Yeah.

PI: A lot of fans there. But quiet.

BSX: A little quiet, yeah.

PI: I was wondering what are your current obsessions at the moment?

BSX: It's gonna make me sound lame. It's really lame (PI: It's not.). So I'm really busy and stressed because the show is coming, right? So to blow off steam, I'm repairing stuff. Right now, I'm repairing an Xbox, it's been taking me so long and I'm almost done. And I've spent many, many nights just looking for parts on eBay. And the last one is coming tomorrow. So I'm getting it done. That's my thing. After that, I think my life is done. I don't have anything else to do.

PI: Isn't it kind of a sign that you're finishing the Xbox and the album at the same time?

BSX: I think so. I think I'm going to finish the Xbox maybe the day before the show. So the day before the project drops. So I feel like that's a thing.

PI: Do you have any peers in the music industry that you would like to shout out?

BSX: Well everyone from the same structure that I'm in, Nu Inc Sound, so that's Dréa Szn who's opening for me, that's Gigi Polar, Alicia Clifford and Yaoundéboxingclub. She's also French, by the way. And she basically brought me into this and taught me everything there is to know about London. She's the best. She's amazing. Malaika is amazing. Albi, she's from Australia. She's incredible. She makes electronic new pop music. It's just nothing you've ever heard before. It's insane. But apart from that group... There's this girl called Sade. Sade Olutola.

PI: Yes. I love her. You know, she's going to Pitchfork in Paris.

BSX: She is. Yes. Yes. I have to be there. She's incredible. And she's blowing up. And I'm so happy for her because her music is so good. And yeah, I love her.

PI: If you had like all the budget, all the time in the world, everything, what kind of project would you make?

BSX: I would make... I would make a two-hour album that is actually a movie.

PI: Oh, wow.

BSX: And so all of the songs have a little bit of dialogue in it. And so you can just listen to the songs and watch the movie at the same time. And that's the thing.

PI: Oh, that's great. That's exactly the same thing. Have you seen Laylow's movie for L'Étrange Histoire de Mr. Anderson?

BSX: Yeah. Incredible. Oh, my God. But this guy, he... It's just... I was kind of jealous at some point. Everything he was making was like, it was so good.

PI: I could definitely see you making a similar concept to what he did. I think that would be so cool. Would you ever want to do an artist residency?

BSX: I would actually. I would love that. I think the biggest thing is I have a lot of trouble collaborating with people. So that would help me a lot with getting other people involved and taking other points of view. So I would love to do that. Definitely.

PI: Was there ever an event that made you want to quit music?

BSX: In 2025, around October, everything went to shit at the same time: I broke my arm skating, and a week before, my relationship ended. It was a four-year-long relationship, and to me it was like everything is going to shit right as I'm starting my music; I thought maybe it's a sign that I shouldn't be doing music. I took a lot of time to just think about it and wonder if I was actually made for it. But I just... I can't do anything else. Genuinely, this is it.

PI: That's a great mindset. My last question is, in the current scene you're evolving in, what do you think this scene needs more of and what do you think it needs less of?

BSX: More black girls. More black girls. Less white men. Please. Please. Please, I beg. Bring more black girls. That's it. Because I feel like... I mean, it's the alt scene. So technically, everyone is welcome. But when you look at events, when you look at who is booking, when you look at who is selling out, who is being promoted, it's kind of the same profile, all the time. I feel like there's something we can do to include more people that need to be included. Alemeda is going crazy. Sade, again, we were talking about her, she's going insane. Dréa Szn is right there. She's right there. Please hire her.